


Goading

by CadetDru



Series: Seven Sins of the Arrangement [6]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Anger, M/M, Seven Deadly Sins, The Arrangement (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2020-05-20 00:26:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19366600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CadetDru/pseuds/CadetDru
Summary: What defines an intimate moment?





	Goading

Aziraphale and Crowley were going to save the world. They needed to correct mistakes made years before. At the hospital turned training ground, Crowley grabbed Aziraphale by the lapels of his dapper coat and pushed him against the wall for daring to call him nice.  He gave one of his full speeches about not being nice. Good and evil were wholly separate.

There was real venom behind it, but Aziraphale had been immune for centuries to that from Crowley. He didn’t fight, he just waited for Crowley to release him. That made it worse for Crowley. He was being goaded by the lack of response. That was Aziraphale’s intent, as it always was.

Then they were interrupted by just the woman Crowley needed to see. She called it an intimate moment.  They let it slide for the time being. With everything else that they had going on, facing down the end of the world, it didn’t seem worth discussing. Naturally, Crowley brought it up almost as soon as they got in the car.  He gave a stammered and confused apology for potentially damaging Aziraphale’s precious coat, which would be a terrible shame after Crowley removed that paint that Aziraphale wouldn’t do for himself. The apology was more insulting than the incident itself.

Aziraphale hummed to himself, thinking of the woman.  “I’m surprised she doesn’t remember more about the child.  Her sense of observation was probably being blunted by Satanic influences.”

“That damned nun can’t do anything right,” Crowley hissed. “Who knows what she was thinking?”

“Why did she call it an ‘intimate moment’ when she interrupted your threatening me?” Aziraphalea asked, trying to sound at least somewhat sincere.

Crowley didn’t answer. Aziraphale looked at him expectantly. Crowley was too angry still to stay silent for long.  “Why do you think?” Crowley finally asked. “She was a Satanic nun, I’m sure any kind of physical interaction confuses her.”

“You might be right at that.  I’m just curious as to why she would interpret a threat like that as a presumably consensual and sexually charged encounter. I’m sure the poor woman has seen what lust looks like before.  You were trying your absolute best to portray anger. She didn’t seem at all frightened until she recognized you.” 

“‘Sexually charged?’” Crowley repeated. He didn't like Aziraphale's tone or words. The phrase "absolute best" had also presented itself a something to be offended by.

“Why, my dear boy, everything that you do is sexually charged.  It’s your demonic wiles.”

“Don’t goad me, angel.  I hate it when you try to goad me.” Crowley punctuated his statement by hitting the steering wheel.

“I’m not scared of you,” Aziraphale said with a weary sigh.  “You’re nice by default.  You try to be nasty, and only sometimes succeed.” He fidgeted with his coat.  “Yet, you still think it’s necessary to threaten me now and then.”

“How else am I going to get you up against a wall?” Crowley said nastily.

Aziraphale let out a huffy little sigh. “You could ask politely.”

“That defeats the whole purpose of the act.”

Aziraphale sighed for the hundredth time.  “No one is saying that you weren’t angry with me.  It’s just that given our history, if you shove me against the wall then it’s not just anger.  Not just lust, either.  A very complicated gesture, very laden with meaning. But you seemed far more likely to violently kiss or grope me in that moment than any other sort of forceful act. But, still consensually. A careful set up.”

“Tell you what, I promise to tenderly shove you against the wall and perform whatever requested sexual acts are physically possible after the world ends.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

Crowley laughed. The anger for both of them was starting to dissipate at last.  They had more important things to focus on. The world needed to be saved before any more walls could be tested.


End file.
